Barsexuality is the new black.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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