There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
