i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
