this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Pooping to opera.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
