and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
