even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
