she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
