But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
