you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize