I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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