I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
