Duck Duck Cougar?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
