My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
