I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
