I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
