dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
