Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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