I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just pee around me
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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