is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
