What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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