I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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