Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
