Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
