puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm at about main and main street
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
