I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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