That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
