I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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