I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
