The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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