You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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