I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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