so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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