Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
