you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
