matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
