is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
