Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
