Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
