He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
birth control should be required to get into college
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
