I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
