Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
