do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
