why didn't you poke me back
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
