I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
