So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
my being single is dangerous.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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