Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
