Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
