I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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