It's Friday. Sex?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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