Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
