Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
